I'm going to put two songs here, the first is "If you only knew" by Shinedown. A reminder to all those who loved, love still, lost love and let their love go for the better good.
If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned
~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I believe
In is you, if you only knew
If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I
Spent, nights we shared,
Or letters that I sent
~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I believe
In is you, if you only knew
If you only knew
I still on to the letters
You help live and learn
~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I still believe
In is you, believe in is you
I still believe in you
Oh, if you only knew
The second song is just one I like to listen when the world seems to crack, a reminder that I am my own person and no one elses. Fallin' apart by All American Rejects
Can somebody save me?
Cus I'm thinking maybe
That yoou can take me piece by piece
Then you got your reasons
But I didn't need them
And either way I'm on my knees yeah
~Chorus~
You knew when I was wrong
You say that I'm deranged
I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart
You say that you're leavin
Say that you don't need him
And all I do is give and you just take
I guess that I knew it
I can't make it through it
But I'm gonna try this anyway
~Chorus~
You knew when I was wrong
You say that I'm deranged
I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart
Anyone got it where the roses sleep
I can make you anything you wanna be
When my bodies close to me
I can give you anything you'd ever need
When I fall to the floor
Cus I can't feel anymore
You can have my heart girl
You don't need to steal anymore
When I look to the stars
Where ever you are
~Chorus~
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart
Yeah I guess we're falling apart
Yeah it looks like we're falling apart
Yeah I guess I'm falling apart
Monday, 14 September 2009
Saturday, 12 September 2009
All the same - Sick Puppies
I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Til you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
For certain
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breathe you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same
In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
It's all the same
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
As long as you come to me
But I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Til you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
For certain
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breathe you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same
In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
It's all the same
Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Messages Five
~Message deleted~
You are stuck somewhere I don't know where, but its hurting all of us especially me and her. Yes life is hard and your plate is full, what was done by her was for the best and you know it. For gods sake stop giving us a hard time, and let us be the friends we are intended to be. Kthnx <3
From what I can tell your life is in some flux of change, you started doing what you stopped doing years ago. Its really satisfying to see you so happy making things, but I can't help feeling you are neglecting me. The same exact thing you wanted to rip him a new hole for, you are now doing yourself. However I will be supportive as a very dear friend, and be behind you all the way in whatever you achieve in life.
I hope you find the happiness you want and deserve, I hope she looks after you. I don't believe what people say, you aren't a psycho to me.
Long as you got people who care you will never walk alone.
I have a very set frame of mind of thinking, its been like it for years and trying to break it has been very difficult.
Quit disappearing. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it just makes it forget over time. I can not stay attached to someone who is not around, do as you promised to do and stick around for a bit. You are not being replaced, but our years and views on life are so different. You want kids and I don't, thats not gonna fuse nicely together at all.
In real life I'm alone........ Except on the interwebz
You are stuck somewhere I don't know where, but its hurting all of us especially me and her. Yes life is hard and your plate is full, what was done by her was for the best and you know it. For gods sake stop giving us a hard time, and let us be the friends we are intended to be. Kthnx <3
From what I can tell your life is in some flux of change, you started doing what you stopped doing years ago. Its really satisfying to see you so happy making things, but I can't help feeling you are neglecting me. The same exact thing you wanted to rip him a new hole for, you are now doing yourself. However I will be supportive as a very dear friend, and be behind you all the way in whatever you achieve in life.
I hope you find the happiness you want and deserve, I hope she looks after you. I don't believe what people say, you aren't a psycho to me.
Long as you got people who care you will never walk alone.
I have a very set frame of mind of thinking, its been like it for years and trying to break it has been very difficult.
Quit disappearing. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it just makes it forget over time. I can not stay attached to someone who is not around, do as you promised to do and stick around for a bit. You are not being replaced, but our years and views on life are so different. You want kids and I don't, thats not gonna fuse nicely together at all.
In real life I'm alone........ Except on the interwebz
Friday, 8 May 2009
It's just a game
Everquest, Guildwars, World of Warcraft, Furcadia, Starcraft, E.V.E, Secondlife, yeah the list goes on really. They are games we all play and true though some of these games, just have us simply killing monsters and grinding for experience points.. Other games are different so different you wonder if its a game at all, because people get upset or get wrapped up in it.
Take the game Secondlife for instance, its made and built by the people who play it. For a lot of players its a place where you can meet up with others all over the world, its a grand social event and you don't have to be yourself. Well you can be yourself but you don't have the usual restraints that society places on you, you could be like me and have no life at all apart from Secondlife.
It's just a game?
I once read that though Secondlife is a game, there are real people behind those avatars. The question was asked where do you draw the line, when those people actually start to get hurt? When they cry over something you done or said, when they hate you or when they laugh with you. Where is the line when its no longer a game, but something a whole lot different?
Okay so let me bring in to the equation a thing a lot of us like to call Roleplay, now I know where the Out of character and In character line is. A lot of roleplayers especially where I roleplay in don't know that line, and I have to admit I have occasionally blurred the line myself.
Why?
You get attached to the people you are interacting with, attached to their characters. Yes its easy to blurr the line when you get OOC pissed at something IC, you're too close to your own character or how their feeling hits your own emotions. I seen it often enough to realise thats when people need to back off, to look at the situation again and remember where the line is. OOC feelings for those who become friends or more also bleed a lot in to roleplay, its no fault of your own it just happens. No one is exempt from getting annoyed or crying over RP, for lashing out over the stupidist little things. If you happen to join a group one that is close-knit like a family, the line continues to blurr as you get more involved and tangled. Issues arise not from the roleplay itself but from the people behind the avatars, at the end of the day you're still dealing with real people.
So it's just a game......
Think again and be careful how you play.
Take the game Secondlife for instance, its made and built by the people who play it. For a lot of players its a place where you can meet up with others all over the world, its a grand social event and you don't have to be yourself. Well you can be yourself but you don't have the usual restraints that society places on you, you could be like me and have no life at all apart from Secondlife.
It's just a game?
I once read that though Secondlife is a game, there are real people behind those avatars. The question was asked where do you draw the line, when those people actually start to get hurt? When they cry over something you done or said, when they hate you or when they laugh with you. Where is the line when its no longer a game, but something a whole lot different?
Okay so let me bring in to the equation a thing a lot of us like to call Roleplay, now I know where the Out of character and In character line is. A lot of roleplayers especially where I roleplay in don't know that line, and I have to admit I have occasionally blurred the line myself.
Why?
You get attached to the people you are interacting with, attached to their characters. Yes its easy to blurr the line when you get OOC pissed at something IC, you're too close to your own character or how their feeling hits your own emotions. I seen it often enough to realise thats when people need to back off, to look at the situation again and remember where the line is. OOC feelings for those who become friends or more also bleed a lot in to roleplay, its no fault of your own it just happens. No one is exempt from getting annoyed or crying over RP, for lashing out over the stupidist little things. If you happen to join a group one that is close-knit like a family, the line continues to blurr as you get more involved and tangled. Issues arise not from the roleplay itself but from the people behind the avatars, at the end of the day you're still dealing with real people.
So it's just a game......
Think again and be careful how you play.
Monday, 4 May 2009
Messages Four
Can I ask why? You play around I see you preying on others, then why must you play with my emotions? I'm not your bitch I'm meant to be your friend, I can be left alone for weeks on end and I do what I want. I am going to cut you off we haven't done anything in weeks anyway, before I go any deeper before I fall anymore. You used to be a shoulder to cry on, for a while now I feel like a pet and I own myself not owned. Can we go back to how we were before? Just two good friends with no complications? How the fuck did we end up this screwed up? Why did it all go downhill? I care for you, show me you care by just being there.
Once again my love my support my pillar my wife, I've had enough of drama coming at me from all sides over the weekend. Though I screw up or let things happen, you never hate me as I can't hate you. You are as you say my bulldog, I know I love you not sure in what way but I know I would give you the world. When I fall over, pick me up. Please?
Oooooh that's so damn hot, growl for me baby.
Okay you, yes you. Damn it just cos you aint here doesn't mean you need to bloody smother me when you are here, I can see why she told you to see other people. I don't think she wanted you to smother those people too, we both love you but you are getting rather clingy. Give us a breather yo!
Erm babe polygamy is nothing to worry about, I may acutally have a streak of jealousy now and then. I won't let it ruin anything or let it show, I'll just bury it cos it goes after time. Long as I know you care, long as I know you'll be there.
Whatever you want do in life, don't make the people around you cry. I'm here for you to talk to, I do happen to be a good listener. Okay? Good.
I do not sound cute!
No I will not be singing on air.....
Meow mix, made with real meows.
Once again my love my support my pillar my wife, I've had enough of drama coming at me from all sides over the weekend. Though I screw up or let things happen, you never hate me as I can't hate you. You are as you say my bulldog, I know I love you not sure in what way but I know I would give you the world. When I fall over, pick me up. Please?
Oooooh that's so damn hot, growl for me baby.
Okay you, yes you. Damn it just cos you aint here doesn't mean you need to bloody smother me when you are here, I can see why she told you to see other people. I don't think she wanted you to smother those people too, we both love you but you are getting rather clingy. Give us a breather yo!
Erm babe polygamy is nothing to worry about, I may acutally have a streak of jealousy now and then. I won't let it ruin anything or let it show, I'll just bury it cos it goes after time. Long as I know you care, long as I know you'll be there.
Whatever you want do in life, don't make the people around you cry. I'm here for you to talk to, I do happen to be a good listener. Okay? Good.
I do not sound cute!
No I will not be singing on air.....
Meow mix, made with real meows.
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Messages Three
[Yep its message time again, some is OOC and some is IC :P I won't say which is which, that ruins half the fun]
Live with us, come play with us. We'll make sure to corrupt you, and then you'll be one with us.
Why don't I say hi to you anymore? Because I hardly get a conversation out of you, unless it seems on your terms and when you want to talk to me. I love you all it takes is one word and I go running, but you neglect me leaving me on a shelf somewhere. I'm not going to sit here crying.....
Quit being emo, you're so much more fun when you smile.
Sweet baby don't you cry over the things you can't help, try to stay in a serene place the problem might solve itself. I'll always be here, here for you. I just want you happy, because your laughter brightens up the world. I love you babydoll <3
I got one thing to say to you!! Ppppppppuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Please don't worry or feel bad because you're not around, you got a life and things to do in it. Its not like I can't survive without you, I understand and I'm not a priority. Take care of the things that matter, and look after yourself.
I heard all about but its just one side of it, it all could have been handled in a better and more mature way. I don't care what anyone says you won't be alone, you just need to see what you had and what you got. Things went sour and I'm sorry, there is still time to heal the wounds and rifts.
We face eachother from different sides, the anger burns can't remember why. It's kind of crazy to cause such pain, our foolish pride makes us hate this way. We watch our world fall apart. Tell me what good is winning, when we loose our heart? - Brother my brother by Blessed union of souls
All those accept my new path I will embrace and call my family, I spent such a long time with you all. All I ask is that you don't cause conflict between the old and the new, if you hate me that much just know I'm no traitor.
Do you know what love is? You speak it, but you don't seem to feel it.
It takes an asshat to know an asshat :D
For your sake its time you saw you are with people who are poisoning you, you grew some balls and you lost them again. You fill me with this undieing disappointment, I can shed no more tears of distress. I'm pretty much done and I grow weary of the insults, whenever I decide to say hi to you. Seriously wake the fuck up!
MOOCH!
Lulz of the day:
[11:50] Lucky Fortune Teller whispers: The astral spirits bring a grave warning for Blueray Darkes:
[11:50] Lucky Fortune Teller whispers: The spirits say: 'Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.'
Live with us, come play with us. We'll make sure to corrupt you, and then you'll be one with us.
Why don't I say hi to you anymore? Because I hardly get a conversation out of you, unless it seems on your terms and when you want to talk to me. I love you all it takes is one word and I go running, but you neglect me leaving me on a shelf somewhere. I'm not going to sit here crying.....
Quit being emo, you're so much more fun when you smile.
Sweet baby don't you cry over the things you can't help, try to stay in a serene place the problem might solve itself. I'll always be here, here for you. I just want you happy, because your laughter brightens up the world. I love you babydoll <3
I got one thing to say to you!! Ppppppppuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Please don't worry or feel bad because you're not around, you got a life and things to do in it. Its not like I can't survive without you, I understand and I'm not a priority. Take care of the things that matter, and look after yourself.
I heard all about but its just one side of it, it all could have been handled in a better and more mature way. I don't care what anyone says you won't be alone, you just need to see what you had and what you got. Things went sour and I'm sorry, there is still time to heal the wounds and rifts.
We face eachother from different sides, the anger burns can't remember why. It's kind of crazy to cause such pain, our foolish pride makes us hate this way. We watch our world fall apart. Tell me what good is winning, when we loose our heart? - Brother my brother by Blessed union of souls
All those accept my new path I will embrace and call my family, I spent such a long time with you all. All I ask is that you don't cause conflict between the old and the new, if you hate me that much just know I'm no traitor.
Do you know what love is? You speak it, but you don't seem to feel it.
It takes an asshat to know an asshat :D
For your sake its time you saw you are with people who are poisoning you, you grew some balls and you lost them again. You fill me with this undieing disappointment, I can shed no more tears of distress. I'm pretty much done and I grow weary of the insults, whenever I decide to say hi to you. Seriously wake the fuck up!
MOOCH!
Lulz of the day:
[11:50] Lucky Fortune Teller whispers: The astral spirits bring a grave warning for Blueray Darkes:
[11:50] Lucky Fortune Teller whispers: The spirits say: 'Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.'
Tuesday, 17 March 2009
In this city - Iglu & Hartley
[Lalalalala disclaimer not mine]
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
Close those doors
Close those doors now
Now, now, just keep em open
Keep em open
Yea, keep em open
Ill keep on, keep keep on going
Taking it in so, so heavy
Take it easy son, this aint so deadly
Got keep on, gotta go on, gotta go on
Take it all with what weve done
Gotta push it push it push it
To the top of the building
Even when no one is feeling
It might bother you
Dont let it
If these people just dont get it
They cant express it
They wont accept it
She said its okay that they may never give you that credit.
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
Ive been down here
Down these roads
People pass through
Some stay some go
Standing here broke
Not a penny to my name
But she says she loves me all the same
I try my best
And you do to
And all you want is something you can move to
Everybodys gotta get their kicks somewhere
Everybody gotta fit in somewhere
Theres, an open road
And Im traveling down
Dont know where to go
But I lock and load
Shoot that sky till the moon explode
Moon explode
Now were laying in a field
White flowers on our backs
Talking bout home
But we cant go back
I guess thats why we left
So we could take a step
Keep moving and forget the rest.
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
Close those doors
Close those doors now
Now, now, just keep em open
Keep em open
Yea, keep em open
Ill keep on, keep keep on going
Taking it in so, so heavy
Take it easy son, this aint so deadly
Got keep on, gotta go on, gotta go on
Take it all with what weve done
Gotta push it push it push it
To the top of the building
Even when no one is feeling
It might bother you
Dont let it
If these people just dont get it
They cant express it
They wont accept it
She said its okay that they may never give you that credit.
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
Ive been down here
Down these roads
People pass through
Some stay some go
Standing here broke
Not a penny to my name
But she says she loves me all the same
I try my best
And you do to
And all you want is something you can move to
Everybodys gotta get their kicks somewhere
Everybody gotta fit in somewhere
Theres, an open road
And Im traveling down
Dont know where to go
But I lock and load
Shoot that sky till the moon explode
Moon explode
Now were laying in a field
White flowers on our backs
Talking bout home
But we cant go back
I guess thats why we left
So we could take a step
Keep moving and forget the rest.
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
You came in to my life
You cannot separate yourself
(Chorus)
And I found that round here
In this city
That I wont disappear
In this city
I got nothing to fear
In this city,
In this city
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