I'll be okay - Amanda Marshall

It's time to let you go; it's time to say Goodbye
No more excuses; no more tears to cry
There's been so many changes; I was so confused
All along you were the one; all the time I never knew.

I want you to be happy; you're my best friend
But it's so hard to let you go now; all that could have been
I'll always have the memories; she'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing; just when you don't want it to

Throw away the chains; Let love find a way
Till love comes again, I'll be OK!

Life passes so quickly, you've got to take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters, you'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching, for what was always there,
Sometimes it will be too late, sometimes it won't be fair.

Throw away the chains, Let love fly away
Till love comes again, I'll be OK!

I won't give up... I won't give in...
I can't re-create what just might have been,
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to return....

Throw away the chains, Let love find a way
Till love comes again, I'll be OK!
Can't go on forever, baby; I can't go on forever, baby...
Can't go on forever, baby... yeah...; I'll be OK

The shallow, the judgemental, the broken

The world is full of all sorts of people that also cling to the internet, I mean all sorts of people. While we're online we forget that a lot of us proberly aint all that good looking, and a lot of us don't have the same IQ levels as say someone who is intellectual. People do a lot of things they all have different behaviours, but if you never scrape past the surface then you will never know what that person is really like. To judge someone by what they do instead of who they are, that is a crime in itself. Remember ye must not judge unless ye be judged. We're all the same underneath, I urge people to try and learn about one another before making stupid judegements and labeling someone. For all you know they could behave in that way due to some deep seated issue.

I find that out of all things in the human race, men are the most shallow but women can be just as bad. You can when online learn to enjoy someone by their personality alone, but once it comes to the face to face meet thing and they aint a blonde, blue eyed skinny wench they aint wanted anymore. Its a shameful fact of life that this has to happen, you two people can connect in a way without being physically together only for that to crush them. Women are just as bad when it comes to weight, features and cock size, I suppose we are all shallow creatures but hell personality is a must a good body is just a bonus.

~deleted~

You became my whole world, it shattered in front of me. I'm picking up the pieces and putting them back together, slowly but surely I will be alright again I'll be okay. I refuse to go down the same route.... Our paths are different now.

Be happy <3

Songs as a reminder

I'm going to put two songs here, the first is "If you only knew" by Shinedown. A reminder to all those who loved, love still, lost love and let their love go for the better good.

If you only knew
I'm hanging by a thread
The web I spin for you
If you only knew
I'd sacrifice my beating
Heart before I lose you
I still hold onto the letters
You returned
I swear I've lived and learned

~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I believe
In is you, if you only knew

If you only knew
How many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew
How I refuse to let you go,
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I
Spent, nights we shared,
Or letters that I sent

~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I believe
In is you, if you only knew

If you only knew
I still on to the letters
You help live and learn


~Chorus~
It's 4:03 and I can't sleep
Without you next to me I
Toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me
Back to life
Breathe your breath in me
The only thing I still believe
In is you, believe in is you
I still believe in you
Oh, if you only knew

The second song is just one I like to listen when the world seems to crack, a reminder that I am my own person and no one elses. Fallin' apart by All American Rejects

Can somebody save me?
Cus I'm thinking maybe
That yoou can take me piece by piece
Then you got your reasons
But I didn't need them
And either way I'm on my knees yeah

~Chorus~
You knew when I was wrong
You say that I'm deranged
I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change

Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart

You say that you're leavin
Say that you don't need him
And all I do is give and you just take
I guess that I knew it
I can't make it through it
But I'm gonna try this anyway

~Chorus~
You knew when I was wrong
You say that I'm deranged
I can see that you're uneasy and it's not gonna change

Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart

Anyone got it where the roses sleep
I can make you anything you wanna be
When my bodies close to me
I can give you anything you'd ever need

When I fall to the floor
Cus I can't feel anymore
You can have my heart girl
You don't need to steal anymore
When I look to the stars
Where ever you are

~Chorus~
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Either way you're breaking my heart
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart

Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Where ever you go I'm crawlin
Where ever you go I'm crawlin

Even when we're falling
Even when we're falling apart

Yeah I guess we're falling apart
Yeah it looks like we're falling apart
Yeah I guess I'm falling apart

All the same - Sick Puppies

I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Til you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
For certain
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breathe you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am

Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
It's all the same

Chorus
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

Messages Five

~Message deleted~

You are stuck somewhere I don't know where, but its hurting all of us especially me and her. Yes life is hard and your plate is full, what was done by her was for the best and you know it. For gods sake stop giving us a hard time, and let us be the friends we are intended to be. Kthnx <3

From what I can tell your life is in some flux of change, you started doing what you stopped doing years ago. Its really satisfying to see you so happy making things, but I can't help feeling you are neglecting me. The same exact thing you wanted to rip him a new hole for, you are now doing yourself. However I will be supportive as a very dear friend, and be behind you all the way in whatever you achieve in life.

I hope you find the happiness you want and deserve, I hope she looks after you. I don't believe what people say, you aren't a psycho to me.

Long as you got people who care you will never walk alone.

I have a very set frame of mind of thinking, its been like it for years and trying to break it has been very difficult.

Quit disappearing. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it just makes it forget over time. I can not stay attached to someone who is not around, do as you promised to do and stick around for a bit. You are not being replaced, but our years and views on life are so different. You want kids and I don't, thats not gonna fuse nicely together at all.

In real life I'm alone........ Except on the interwebz

It's just a game

Everquest, Guildwars, World of Warcraft, Furcadia, Starcraft, E.V.E, Secondlife, yeah the list goes on really. They are games we all play and true though some of these games, just have us simply killing monsters and grinding for experience points.. Other games are different so different you wonder if its a game at all, because people get upset or get wrapped up in it.

Take the game Secondlife for instance, its made and built by the people who play it. For a lot of players its a place where you can meet up with others all over the world, its a grand social event and you don't have to be yourself. Well you can be yourself but you don't have the usual restraints that society places on you, you could be like me and have no life at all apart from Secondlife.

It's just a game?

I once read that though Secondlife is a game, there are real people behind those avatars. The question was asked where do you draw the line, when those people actually start to get hurt? When they cry over something you done or said, when they hate you or when they laugh with you. Where is the line when its no longer a game, but something a whole lot different?

Okay so let me bring in to the equation a thing a lot of us like to call Roleplay, now I know where the Out of character and In character line is. A lot of roleplayers especially where I roleplay in don't know that line, and I have to admit I have occasionally blurred the line myself.

Why?

You get attached to the people you are interacting with, attached to their characters. Yes its easy to blurr the line when you get OOC pissed at something IC, you're too close to your own character or how their feeling hits your own emotions. I seen it often enough to realise thats when people need to back off, to look at the situation again and remember where the line is. OOC feelings for those who become friends or more also bleed a lot in to roleplay, its no fault of your own it just happens. No one is exempt from getting annoyed or crying over RP, for lashing out over the stupidist little things. If you happen to join a group one that is close-knit like a family, the line continues to blurr as you get more involved and tangled. Issues arise not from the roleplay itself but from the people behind the avatars, at the end of the day you're still dealing with real people.

So it's just a game......

Think again and be careful how you play.

Messages Four

Can I ask why? You play around I see you preying on others, then why must you play with my emotions? I'm not your bitch I'm meant to be your friend, I can be left alone for weeks on end and I do what I want. I am going to cut you off we haven't done anything in weeks anyway, before I go any deeper before I fall anymore. You used to be a shoulder to cry on, for a while now I feel like a pet and I own myself not owned. Can we go back to how we were before? Just two good friends with no complications? How the fuck did we end up this screwed up? Why did it all go downhill? I care for you, show me you care by just being there.

Once again my love my support my pillar my wife, I've had enough of drama coming at me from all sides over the weekend. Though I screw up or let things happen, you never hate me as I can't hate you. You are as you say my bulldog, I know I love you not sure in what way but I know I would give you the world. When I fall over, pick me up. Please?

Oooooh that's so damn hot, growl for me baby.

Okay you, yes you. Damn it just cos you aint here doesn't mean you need to bloody smother me when you are here, I can see why she told you to see other people. I don't think she wanted you to smother those people too, we both love you but you are getting rather clingy. Give us a breather yo!

Erm babe polygamy is nothing to worry about, I may acutally have a streak of jealousy now and then. I won't let it ruin anything or let it show, I'll just bury it cos it goes after time. Long as I know you care, long as I know you'll be there.

Whatever you want do in life, don't make the people around you cry. I'm here for you to talk to, I do happen to be a good listener. Okay? Good.

I do not sound cute!

No I will not be singing on air.....

Meow mix, made with real meows.