Random thoughts

Evil: The perception of evil has always been this, what is deemed wrong is wrong and what is deemed good is good. What if evil believes it is good and doing what it thinks is right? Evil as we're often told is perception, it goes against our society and laws, it has no actual boundries. Its just plain not right. I got to thinking at one point about Hitler, his racial hatred and how he not only attempted to eradicate an entire type of people but make his own super race. Now the question begs did he see the wrongs of the world, then considered to wipe out not just the Jews but the entire human race? Once the world was cleansed would his new race of better humans take over? If he saw his actions as good for the betterment of humans, its no wonder he commited mass murder on the largest scale possible. You can't make a new race with making a hell of a lot sacrifices. I once read that when he was a boy he fell off his raft, he was pulled out of the water by the Angel of Death. It told him that for him it would be the Angel of Life, I don't really delve too much in to some fairy tale fantasy he may have whipped up. Sometimes I think we need to think outside our own box that society has placed upon us, one day someone will come along just like Hitler and succede where he failed. Evil that thinks its good. Think about it.

Master/Mistress/Slave/Pet: The term Master is now so far from its original meaning its askewed to the point, it means a hell a lot different than what it used to. In the UK any boy under the age of sixteen is called Master, once they become sixteen its then Mister. Also the title of Master was usually given to the man of the household, he was the breadmaker, paid the wages of his servants, and his wife was often called Ma'am. He owned the house, he owned everything in it, he was the Master of the house. Now the word is used for those who own slaves and pets...

Mistress was only ever given to a woman who was the bit on the side for a married man, if the man was married and sleeping around with another woman she was the Mistress not the wife. The term is also given if the woman is head of her own house, where there is normally a Master she would be the Mistress. These days its connected to Dominatrix and its old meaning left behind somewhere in the gutter.

Slave was the term given to people sold in to slavery, they had no wages as they were forced to work for free. Often were chained together and chained at night to stop them escaping. Today of course its a different meaning, a slave can either be someone forced in to being owned or someone who just wants someone else to do all the relationship work for them. Some slaves actually love to serve, to make their owner happy, and to just be what their gender in days past dictated they should be. We have a genetic evolution for a reason, people should stop throwing themselves backwards and stand up for once. Here I must say that sometimes its not like that at all, its about giving yourself over completely to someone you love and trust, that they will love you, protect you, guard you, and give you back as much as you offer to them. In this fashion I sometimes call my partner Master, okay Picket might growl at that but its not collar and leash its still equal he doesn't own me. I just chose to let him have all of me all that I am, I submit to him (I've only ever submitted to one other) and I haven't regretted it once not at all. Besides if you think about it a wedding ring is a collar of sorts, it binds two people in a ceremony.

The pet is much like the slave there's not much difference but pets are often willing to throw themselves in to collars, mostly because they don't know how to behave on their own sexually and need to be dominated. This complete submission not only smacks of lack of will, but 50% of them can't even think for themselves. I've met some smart pets though, and those same ones often stand up for themselves when pushed.

Love: I have felt love before at least I think I have, but never to this degree and never forsaking all others. My only desire is him, my only want is him, my only need is him. In so short a time I have given myself to him, made him my world and can't seem to get enough of him. That after we've seen eachother physically I'm often at a loss what to do with myself, as a part of me feels empty that he seems to fill and I never thought that hole of my soul could ever be filled. Love is wonderful its made me happy and less depressed, it also feels like a kick in the teeth at times.

Illness

For the past five months I've been suffering with an ear ache, that has had constant meds in order to fix it but the damn thing still hurts anyway. On top of that I had light headedness and nausea, course this came with the territority of a bad, immflamed eardrum yay! You expect that after a week or two things would have been better but no, the issue went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Its still not all that great now.

Back in June the double vision struck so I went to the opticians they gave me new a prescription and I got new glasses, everything was pretty much fine for a couple of months until... The lightheadedness struck again along with oh look double vision, back to the optician who couldn't find anything wrong with me. They sent a letter to my doctor to refere me to a specilist since they can't find anything wrong with me, other tha my terrible vision to start with. (I have to wear glasses all the time now >>)

Over the past few months with the lightheadedness an almost constant, I stepped down as an officer in Archaic Redemption and all but quit roleplaying. I couldn't focus on any of it and I needed to have no admin stuff as it was stressful. Also I kept going back and forth to the doctors with either my ear or complaints about being dizzy and feeling ill. At one point I had proberly stressed myself out so much, I ended up with a tension headache that just wouldn't go away. Yay for that too ><

In the meantime since I haven't been in Secondlife all that much anymore, I took up playing World of Warcraft again just for something to do. For anyone who doesn't like the game good for you that's your choice, I really don't need some immature prick shoving their utter dislike for it down my throat; while not only insulting me for liking for it but also ripping in to the people who play the game. Hey lets not stop there they also continue to rip in to the game itself, and generally insult all players, creators and makers for the sheer fact they don't like this game. If you got any such comments then keep them to yourself, or you will be muted, blocked and ignored for the rest of your life. Respect me and what I like and I will do the same, I don't insult you for what you like or insult the things you like. I always state hey I don't like that its not my thing, and generally leave it at that for there isn't any reason to go any further.

Okay so the doctors have set me up for some appointments one of which, I have just had that was to scan my liver, gall bladder and kidneys to see if they're healthy... Despite my liver functioning a little higher than it should. The other one is later this month which, will be for my eyes to see what is causing my double visison.

All in all I aint been pretty well though generally been able to carry on with my life, its a litte depressing at times to constantly feel like you're gonna pass out or the world is shifting. Since they won't give me anything for it I have to get used to it and carry on, though I got a drawer full of medications now mostly painkillers for my headache.

Can anyone say quack? They should have done more for me by now, but hey you get what you paid for! Free healthcare...