Offline

Its a standard thing for me now to be offline and not bothered to come online, when I'm feeling so down in the dumps that to be around people will make me bring them down with me. In such events I will just refuse to be around and go to sleep, yesterdays one was no exception I went to sleep. I was so uptight about open chat that certain things just urked me, in furthering my mood I allowed myself to just slip.

Okay we're all familar with the fact I'm in love, broken hearted etc etc. Only problem is everytime I think I'm on the mend, he does something that makes me melt right back to him. Ah the power of a male who knows just what to say and do... I logged on this morning after sleeping the night away, he logs on and messages me about how he missed me. I told him he worries too much he says he always worries, especially where I am concerned. Gone... Just like that I'm wanting to cry, mostly at the unfairness of it all.

Maybe I should leave the Shadows and cut off communication, as people have told me before I am only hurting myself by continuing being around him. He is a friend after all right? And I love that group with everything I have, but is it really advisiable to be in it considering my own personal hurt?

Maybe I like to remind myself he's not mine never will be, and each time I break down I should just get up again. I will carry on regardless, I am free and most importantly of all.

I
am
me